Table of Contents
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INTRODUCTION, WITH CATS
Let’s start with cats.
Cats are everywhere online. They make the memiest memes and the cutest
Why cats more than dogs?1
Dogs didn’t come to ancient humans begging to live with us; we
domesticated them.2 They’ve been bred to be obedient. They take to training and
they are predictable. They work for us. That’s not to say anything against dogs.3
It’s great that they’re loyal and dependable.
Cats are different. They came along and partly domesticated themselves.
They are not predictable. Popular dog videos tend to show off training, while the
most wildly popular cat videos are the ones that capture weird and surprising
Cats are smart, but not a great choice if you want an animal that takes to
training reliably. Watch a cat circus online, and what’s so touching is that the cats
are clearly making their own minds up about whether to do a trick they’ve
learned, or to do nothing, or to wander into the audience.
Cats have done the seemingly impossible: They’ve integrated themselves into
the modern high-tech world without giving themselves up. They are still in
charge. There is no worry that some stealthy meme crafted by algorithms and
paid for by a creepy, hidden oligarch has taken over your cat. No one has taken
over your cat; not you, not anyone.
Oh, how we long to have that certainty not just about our cats, but about
ourselves! Cats on the internet are our hopes and dreams for the future of people
on the internet.
Meanwhile, even though we love dogs, we don’t want to be dogs, at least in
terms of power relationships with people, and we’re
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